aboutWe are Akila and Patrick. Our minds (and waistlines) expand as we travel, cook, and eat our way around the world with our two dogs.
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thankfulness for firsts

At Piazza Navona

Until two weeks ago, my mother-in-law had never stepped foot outside the United States.  She had never been off the East Coast (excepting a four day stint in Vegas twenty years ago).  She was terrified to fly over the ocean.  She didn't like to try new foods.  She didn't know if she could travel abroad.

And, yet, two weeks ago, she came to meet us in Rome.

We were, to be honest, worried.  A month before the trip, she called Patrick and asked if she needed to protect herself from packs of thieving children.  In her defense, she found an article on Frommers about these types of attacks and Patrick --- the wise a** that he is --- promptly suggested that she bring her brass knuckles.  On the day that she landed in Rome, we walked a short kilometer from Campo de Fiori to the Pantheon --- a walk that Patrick and I think nothing about --- and she worried that she wouldn't be able to finish out the trip because of the pain in her legs.  When we got onto the first bus that was packed to the gills with Italians, her eyes widened to two round saucers.  We worried about what would happen if she got lost or separated from us, forgetting for the moment that she was savvy enough to raise two children, and one of them happened to be the son who was ushering her around.  (But, isn't that always the way we feel about our own parents?)

It was a week of firsts.

The first time Linda ate bufala mozzarella and really good artichokes, rather than the bland awfulness they sell in cans in the United States.

The first time she rode a bus since college.

The first time she had a cappuccino served by someone who knew how to make it (and it was the first of *many* cappuccinos.)

The first time she saw ruins, monuments, and art that touched on the very greatest of man's accomplishments in this world.

And, it was the first time we saw international travel from the perspective of someone for whom everything is a first.

It occurred to me, as we watched her experience Rome, that this is what I love about traveling.  I am so grateful for the firsts.  There is something exhilarating, ground-shaking, and mind-shattering about waking up and not knowing exactly where you are, how to communicate with the people, how to buy milk and bread, and what to see and do.  There is joy in learning a place and determining that the differences between each country and culture are not so great as the media might have us believe.  There is understanding in being a part of this immense world and realizing that no matter how long we travel or live, we can only grasp the smallest knowledge of its magnitude.

Today is my first Thanksgving in Europe and tomorrow will be our first time crossing the Eurotunnel from Calais to England.  Next month, I will travel with my mother through Europe for the first time. And, in two months, we will drive to Eastern Europe, heading into a whole new set of firsts as we figure out how to communicate, eat, and live in Croatia, Hungary, Bulgaria, Romania, and Turkey.

Too soon, though, each first becomes a second, a third, and then a fourth, until they are commonplace and unexciting.  Our first time driving our right-handed car in left-driving England was an adventure; now it is mundane.  By the end of our week in Rome, Linda was old hat at using the metro, even venturing out by herself on her last day in Rome to shop.  She did not bat an eyelash when we suggested that we walk out of our way to find the best cannolis in Rome and she jauntily "grazie-d" and "buongiorno-ed" her way through the city in her final days.  As it turned out, we didn't need to worry at all; she's a born traveler (I guess that must be where Patrick gets it from).

When Linda returned home, she wrote on her Facebook wall: "Knowing and understanding is comfortable, but that doesn't mean it's the best.  I'm a better person and woman for having done this: traveling across the ocean to a different country and coming back home."  I couldn't put it better myself.

I say all this about travel because, in the last few years, we have experienced so many firsts associated with our wanderings.  But, today, my Facebook wall was crowded with thankfulness for other firsts: for the birth of a child and his/her first words, for a first day at a new job, a first step into a new home, and a first car.  I suspect that the Pilgrims almost four hundred years ago were thankful for surviving their first years in a hard and unknown world. 

All of these firsts --- in our travels and our lives --- crowd eagerly into the mind, snatching coveted portions of our memories, carving themselves indelibly into the hopes for our futures, and demanding our thankfulness.

(Happy Thanksgiving.)

11/24/2011 21:43
Happy Thanksgiving, Akila! Wonderful post!
11/25/2011 05:28
Lakshmi Sankar
Great post, Akila! Hooray for Linda! Love, Mom
11/25/2011 06:36
Chetan
Akila:
Thank you for a wonderful post. I am thankful to have children who continue to educate me. What a wonderful sentiment in the midst of countries who keep increasing their defense budgets while even denying its citizens basic necessities.

"There is joy in learning a place and determining that the differences between each country and culture are not so great as the media might have us believe. There is understanding in being a part of this immense world and realizing that no matter how long we travel or live, we can only grasp the smallest knowledge of its magnitude."

Love,
Dad
11/26/2011 12:42
Always wonderful when something like that works out. That quote really does sum it up beautifully!
11/26/2011 19:01
Linda
Akila and I have actually shared more "firsts" than this one.

I was first introduced to a new and fascinating culture when she and Patrick decided to wed. My firsts included, tasting Indian food, participating in a Hindu wedding, and experiencing the loving, warm, giving culture of Akila and her family.

I was able to share our Christian Easter with Akila who had never had an Easter dinner. I also shared with her our New Year's Eve dinner, and our Super Bowl parties.

Looking ahead I'm excited about more traveling and learning with the guidance of my children. Like Chetan shared, parents are lucky when they get to learn and grow from their children.

Hopefully my seconds and thirds won't get mundane. I want to keep my saucer-sized eyes, the smiles I get from the little things, and my nervousness at trying to communicate with our non-English speaking friends around the world. I will work hard at remembering that traveling to share in other people's cultures is not an entitlement but a priviledge that should be treated as a gift.
11/28/2011 05:33
This is so sweet! It is very nice of you to make her such trip because I am sure she had the greatest time! I remember my first trip abroad - everything seemed so magical!
11/28/2011 15:35
Loved it! Got a little teary eyed reading about Linda's firsts, and it definitely took me back to my own early travels.

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